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I hate being bipolar,
it’s so good.
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My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
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I’m never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.
They just take the money and run.
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Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump’s wall
On the condition he gets to install windows
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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