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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
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I recently sold my vacuum cleaner..
..all it was doing was gathering dust.
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Why did I throw the butter out of the window?
To see the butterfly.
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A psychotic criminal stole a train. He said the reason was the voices in the head told him to.
It was a locomotive.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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