The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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Husband: Help! My wife is going into labor! 911 Operator: Is this her first child?

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When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”

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Did you hear about the dumb guy who got fired from his job at the M&M's factory?