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How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles
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What do cigarettes and squirrels have in common?
They're both perfectly safe until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
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What fish is the best fighter?
The swordfish.
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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
So I told her that she was pretty ugly.
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I dated a twin once...
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