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How do you turn six into nine?
Remove the “s”.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my eyes on you.
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You really shouldn't make fun of overweight people
They have enough on their plates
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My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
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