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Genie: What's your first wish master? John: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Done! What's your second wish Rich?
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What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?
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There was a robbery at the Apple Store today.
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I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”
She is watching our wedding video again.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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