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Genie: What's your first wish master? John: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Done! What's your second wish Rich?
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I had been out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home.
That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before.
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Guy at the door: Sir, would you like to make a donation to the local orphanage?
Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.
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My wife told me she is thinking about selling Egyptian rocks.
It sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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