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Genie: What's your first wish master? John: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Done! What's your second wish Rich?
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Don't eat light bulbs.
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The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies. "
I replied, "Tell him, he's bloody good. I don't have any kids."
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
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What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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