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Doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit.
You get a warm feeling, but no one else notices.
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Why can't a lactose intolerant dyslexic man keep a diary?
Because he's allergic.
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My can opener broke ...
Now it’s a can’t opener.
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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