A shoplifter stole an entire case of red bull from my store
I don’t know how he sleeps at night
Why did the Mexican push two of his three children off a cliff?
He only wanted Juan.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
When I was a kid, I really wanted to learn Morse Code
...my hopes were dashed