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A friend of mine tries to impress girls by drawing realistic paintings of the Ford F-150.
He’s a pickup artist.
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People say that swiss cheese is the best...
But I found a couple holes in that theory
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Every morning after I get up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of shit to IKEA.
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One time I paid $20 to see Prince in concert
But I partied like it's $19.99
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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