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I always knock when I open the fridge
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
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What's the difference between a baseball hitter and a skydiver?
The baseball player goes "smack!...ARGH!" A skydiver goes "ARGH!...smack!"
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A man came up to me and said "Man, your clothes look gay".
I said "I know, they came out of the closet this morning".
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You know you're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling...
and you didn't do anything the night before.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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