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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
How does a computer get drunk?
It takes screen shots.
My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.
...it’s a matter of wife or death.
What kind of fish is made up of only two sodium atoms?
Why are Pokemon players considered naughty?
Because they always want a pikachu.
I just swallowed a stack of Scrabble tiles by accident.
My next poop could spell disaster.
What do you call a noodle that doesn’t drink?
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines!
Joke of the Day
I cannot eat shrimp, lobsters and clams that have been cooked by heated water vapor.
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