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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
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I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
It was a flop.
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What kind of shoes do spies wear?
Sneakers
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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