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My friend asked me how many clowns I saw at the carnival today and I said
A fair amount.
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Wanna hear something breathtaking
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My friend gave birth in the car on the way to the hospital
Her husband named the kid Carson
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I was on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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