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Why was the calendar depressed?
Because it’s days were numbered!
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Before my operation, my doctor gave me the option to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
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When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
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What is Mozart doing right now?
Decomposing!
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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