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Why is Ireland the biggest country in the world?
Because it keeps Dublin.
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Guy at the door: Sir, would you like to make a donation to the local orphanage?
Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.
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“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
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I have a step ladder...
I never knew my real ladder, but my step ladder raised me.
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
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