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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My twin brother called me from prison.
He said, “You know that thing where we finish each other’s sentences?”.
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I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
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At the end of the day...
It's just midnight!
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A small meteorite is reportedly headed for Legoland
The damage is expected to be 50 square blocks.
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What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
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