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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.
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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra
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Why is no one friends with Dracula?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
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Can I watch the TV?
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