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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the pee is silent.
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Me: Know what Thanos says when he finds a rotten fruit in his garden? My kids: Ugh.
"It is... Inedible"
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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What do cannibals drink in the morning?
A cup of Joe.
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I dated a twin once...
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