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Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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Four years ago today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.
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Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday
Apparently you’re not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say “get a load of this guy” every time someone walks in.
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What did the bra say to the hat?
You go on a head, I gotta give these two a lift!
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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