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Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
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Why do plants hate math?
It gives them square roots
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Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
Because education pays off in the long run.
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Interviewer: We're looking for someone who is responsible. Do you fit that criteria?
Candidate: Well, in my last job when the store caught fire, my boss said that I was responsible.
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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?
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