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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Where would you find a tortoise with no legs?
Wherever you left it.
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I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
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Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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The clouds parted and a voice thundered, "Come forth, and you'll receive eternal life."
But John came fifth, so he just got a toaster.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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