The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”

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I couldn't decide what Asian food I wanted more Japanese or Chinese so

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Mahatma Ghandi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an incredible set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. Plus, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

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You can tell the gender of any animal by just throwing a pebble at it.