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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
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My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
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You shouldn't kiss anyone on January 1st
Because it's the first date
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Major: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning, Sergeant!”
Sergeant: “Thank you, Sir!!”
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
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