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What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause
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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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Marriage is like a card game.
At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade.
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What's another name for an eyedropper?
A clumsy ophthalmologist.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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