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What does toilet paper like alpine skiing?
Because it's the fastest way to get to the bottom.
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I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
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Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?
So when they come in they can Scandinavian.
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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?". "For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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