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What does toilet paper like alpine skiing?
Because it's the fastest way to get to the bottom.
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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My wife says I’m addicted to auctions but she’s wrong. I actually stopped after going once…
...going twice...
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I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared,
"Hey, we've been getting along great lately!'
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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