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What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
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What do you call a shoe made of a banana?
A slipper!
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Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"?
Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
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I don't trust these trees
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