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What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my eyes on you.
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Where does a general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
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A furniture store keeps calling me...
All I wanted was one night stand.
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My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”
“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”
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People told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic
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