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Waiter: “How’s your chicken?”
Dad: “Not good. I think it might be dead.”
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“Hey dad, have you seen my sunglasses?”
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So I texted my crush and asked her, “Are you an ancient artifact,”
“Because I want to date you.”
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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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