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My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She's such a Thyme waster
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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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My mailman got a sex change.
I guess you'd call him a post-man now.
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What do you call fake potatoes?
Imitaters
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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