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TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
Because it is capsized.
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Why did I throw the butter out of the window?
To see the butterfly.
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Why didn't the dog want to wrestle?
He was a boxer.
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Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"?
Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today
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