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My wife told me, “ Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat.”
“You’re much bigger than that.”
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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
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While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
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Why didn't the dog want to wrestle?
He was a boxer.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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