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The world champion tounge twister got arrested the other day
I heard they're going to give him a tough sentence
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Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
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My wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.
She said "transaction denied, insufficient buns."
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Why does Waldo from the Where’s Waldo books wear stripes?
Cause he doesn’t wanna be spotted
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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