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Step 2: Brag that you walk 5 miles every day
"Yell for help!" wasn't one of them.
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My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry eachother.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...
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Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't see the TV
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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