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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
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What's stronger than a fortune cookie?
A hammer.
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Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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