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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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Why did the nose feel sad?
Because he always got picked on!
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Before my operation, my doctor gave me the option to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
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I won the "Most Secretive Guy" award in our office today.
I can't tell you how much this award means to me.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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