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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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What did the yogi tell his restless students?
Don't just do something...sit there!
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A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?". "For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
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My neighbor told me he only sleeps standing up.
But everyone knows he lies a lot.
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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