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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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I couldn't decide whether my girlfriend was pretty, or ugly.
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My wife is still mad at me because I accidentally put superglue on her pen a few days ago.
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Yesterday a clown held the door open for me.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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