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"Sergeant! Sergeant! The troops are revolting!"
"Well, you're no prize pig yourself."
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What do you call a group of security guards in front of the Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He shouts, “A beer please! And one for the road!”
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The other day my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally gave her a glue.
She's still not talking to me.
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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?
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