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One time I paid $20 to see Prince in concert
But I partied like it's $19.99
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I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.
She said “Yes.... all the other guys were nines or tens”
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I bought my friend an elephant for her room.
She said "thanks". I said "don't mention it".
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What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?
LMAYO
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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