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My wife won't come to Mexico with me.
She thinks I will try tequila.
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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
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I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."
That way I can tell people that I go to the jim first thing every morning.
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The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked, "do ya wanna box for that?"
I responded with, "no, but we can arm wrestle any day."
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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