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My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
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My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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I had a pun about insanity
but then I lost it.
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Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
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I ordered some stuff online yesterday and I used my Donor Card instead of my Debit Card.
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