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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...
So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
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My wife says she’s leaving me because she thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy.
What planet is she on!
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How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?
Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
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