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My son told me, “The car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”
I said, “That’s sound advice.”
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On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. It’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
Push and Pull.
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When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I’m homeless.
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Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck.
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I don't trust these trees
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