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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?
You stop pretending.
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Who writes nursery rhymes and squeezes oranges?
Mother Juice.
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Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.
They cut it from the script because it was too much of a buzzkill.
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What do you call a man who never toots in public?
A private tooter.
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I dated a twin once...
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