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My greatest professional ambition is to get to a desk
where no one can see my computer monitor but me.
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What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
You can drop her off anywhere.
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I shot my enemy with a paintball gun
I wanted to see them dye
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I think my wife is leaving me because of my obsession with simplifying fractions.
Oh well, hind sight is 1.
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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