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My girlfriend asked if we could have an old movie night and watch “Gaslight”
I told her “we already watched that together, don’t you remember?”
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A man I know brings cheese from home to put on his fast food burgers instead of paying extra.
He's a pretty Krafty guy.
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What do you call an insect born without a mouth?
A mute ant.
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My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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