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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.
Guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
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What kind of shoes do spies wear?
Sneakers
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I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared,
"Hey, we've been getting along great lately!'
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Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they'd break.
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Patient: When my hand heals, will I be able to play piano? Doctor: Yes, you'll be fine in a few days.
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