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Last night I dreamed I wrote Lord of the Rings.
Guess I was Tolkien in my sleep.
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There's one field that I am highly qualified in.
Unemployment.
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They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
They’re not laughing now.
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I went into a pet shop and told the owner that i want twelve bees
He handed me thirteen and said "last one is a freebie"
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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