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I've been asked out by 20 women today...
I was in the ladies bathroom.
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Wife: "Honey, I'm Pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad" Wife: "No you're not...."
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Do you know how I embrace my mistakes?
I hug my wife and children.
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What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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