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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.
I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.
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I couldn't pay the exorcist.
So he repossessed my house.
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My girlfriend likes to take the stairs but I prefer taking the elevator
I guess we were raised defferently.
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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they would be bagels
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I asked my wife to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect! Then she added that I also...
...had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces...
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"I'm sorry," said the barman, "we don't serve time travellers."
A time traveller walks into a bar.
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I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
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Joke of the Day
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
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