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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I just turned 18 so now I shouldn’t need my glasses anymore
I’m still waiting for my adult super-vision to kick in
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I had a dream I was floating in some sort of orange liquid.
When I woke up I couldn't decide if it was really a dream or just a Fanta Sea.
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I bought some noise cancelling headphones.
I thought people would find them annoying but so far I haven't heard any complaints.
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People say that swiss cheese is the best...
But I found a couple holes in that theory
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Somebody just gave me a free air guitar
No strings attached.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.
He's now high on the list of people I don't want to see again.
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A prosthetics company was going out of business.
It was on its last legs.
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I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
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