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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
-1
I absolutely hate people who talk behind my back.
They discussed me.
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0
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
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-2
Jeff, a semi colon, and an Oxford comma walk into a bar.
They both have a great time.
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-1
I was taught to never use the Oxford comma
by Mrs. Henderson, my high school English teacher and a first-rate whore.
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1
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
It was a flop.
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3
I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ". " I'm just a cactus " , it said.
" You have a point there ", I replied.
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4
A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?". "For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says the man. "When do we start?"
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My dog is really good at playing fetch
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