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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
-1
What does a vegan zombie say?
"Graaains! Graaaains!"
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1
Four out of five people suffer from diarrhea.
Which means one enjoys it.
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2
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
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1
Doctor, I think I need glasses.
Teller: You certainly do! This is a bank.
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-1
Knock-knock! Who's there? Uphill. Uphill who?
Uphill would make me feel better.
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-1
My doctor told me to cut down on my sodium.
But I always take her advice with a grain of salt.
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1
Why did the Muffin go to the doctor?
He was feeling crummy.
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Joke of the Day
My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
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