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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?
So when they come in they can Scandinavian.
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You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.
You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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What do you call a person in a tree with a briefcase?
A branch manager!
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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
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