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Which US president was the least guilty?
Lincoln, because he was in a cent
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Why don’t fish play basketball?
They have issues with the net.
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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
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I was kidnapped by mimes once
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