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Where does a general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
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Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
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Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
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Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
Riceless
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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
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